Growing up, I never really had a great
connection with my family. I have seen all of them talk negative about each
other and continue to smile in each other’s faces like everything is OK. It’s
been this way since I was younger; as I got older I started to notice all the
negative energy around me, so I stopped talking to almost everyone in my
family. I tried talking to my mom about things, but she never listens. She likes
to think she’s always right. When I came to high school, I started using
friends to help me express my thoughts and feelings, but people grow apart, so
I eventually stopped talking to them too.
I always thought to myself, “How
could people say they love you, but talk so negative about each you?” I didn’t
believe that could be love, so I felt unloved by them. They are my family and I
will always have some type of love for them, but when they are constantly
bringing me down, I will have to learn to love them from a distance so I am
able to focus on myself and move forward with my life.
Sometimes real love isn’t even found
in family. A loved one will stick by your side no matter what. That person will
show you that he/she cares; and will make you laugh in moments you don’t even
feel like smiling. If someone can make you feel like everyone else in your life
was worth losing, and bring you complete happiness with just them then that is
when you know someone truly loves you.
This year I am repeating my senior
year and trying to graduate mid-term. The first day of school, I felt stupid
coming back because my family judged me for it, so of course everyone else was
going to, and that’s exactly what they did. I didn’t want to stay; I wanted to
give up. When I got home, I knew I couldn’t talk to my mom about it because all
she’d do is say it’s my fault anyway.
There’s this boy I met almost three
years ago. We recently started dating nine months ago. He has always been there
when I needed him the most. He texted me and asked me how my day was at school,
so I told him how I felt about everything. The next day he surprised me and
came up to the school during lunch and sat and talked with me and then walked
me to fourth period. He offered to help me study and is pushing me to graduate
this semester. Instead of bring me down, he tries to motivate me. My boyfriend
is the highlight of my days. He can say something as simple as “Hi” and I will
feel so much better. He makes me feel wanted. This, I believe, is the power of
love.
